My plan was simple. Record my dreams, increase recall, achieve lucid dreaming. Well, it has been a colossal failure. It worked in the sense that I remember my dreams. It’s just that they’re shitter than ever and all sorts of people I don’t like keep showing their faces and…. bothering me. Oh, I won’t even … Continue reading It was a mistake to even try.
Tips to help you recall what your sweet dreams are made of.
Somewhere I mentioned my intention to learn lucid dreaming as a way to find peace in my aggravating, troubling dreams, to go into my mental office, as it were, to straighten up. A lucid dream, if you don’t know, is a dream in which you are actually conscious that you’re in a dream and are … Continue reading Tips to help you recall what your sweet dreams are made of.
Odds and ends of the current life of a lazy mofo
I was sneaking around a moving neighbor's basement and made a poor attempt at a liminal space photo. This is me: it was early May, seventy degrees out, and I was wearing a winter scarf running down the sidewalk eating a slice of pizza while chasing a stray cat. I spent April cycling through the … Continue reading Odds and ends of the current life of a lazy mofo
Shield your hike, baby
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I used to make 6.6% above minimum wage, now I make 1.5%.
I have undergone the yearly job review ceremony, also known as a foregone conclusion. The vast majority of the review is the store’s total results, so everyone basically starts out with a failure. It’s not even worth getting upset about it. I might as well stick my tongue out at my boss's back, as I … Continue reading I used to make 6.6% above minimum wage, now I make 1.5%.
Happy Easter
John 11:25: "Jesus said unto Martha, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live." Revelation 1:17-18: "Don’t be afraid! I am the First and Last. I am the living one. I died, but look–I am alive forever and ever!" God love y'all
Someone explain toothbrush replacement theory to me because I don’t understand economics.
I've noticed that on the back of toothbrush packages, it usually says that dentists recommend replacing your toothbrush every three months. I find that nasty. That's only four new toothbrushes a year. I feel like here's where sensible economic greed should enter the picture. Considering the nastiness of not replacing it at least once a … Continue reading Someone explain toothbrush replacement theory to me because I don’t understand economics.
I forgot what I was gonna call this but I think it was whatever.
Uh oh, I'm on time for work--what did I forget?--Did I brush my teeth? Check. Pants? Check. Well, then I guess I'm good to go. You silly--I was only pretending I forgot how to hold a knife and fork for a second. I need an excuse. I grasp for anything near at hand--yes, there's a … Continue reading I forgot what I was gonna call this but I think it was whatever.
If I never hear the words “social distancing” again…..
.....I will be just fine. UPDATE: March 24, 2021: Happy One Year Anniversary I originally published this on March 24, 2020. No end of those two words in sight. I'm not exactly fine right now because I literally have covid as we speak. Oh well. But as true today as it was a year ago, … Continue reading If I never hear the words “social distancing” again…..
10% off if you strip in public and blame the store.
Sometimes when I’m getting ready for work, I delay going to the bathroom until I get there so I can do it on the clock and waste a couple of minutes before I go to the office. The other morning, I headed to the bathroom, whistling and thinking about ways to avoid my boss and … Continue reading 10% off if you strip in public and blame the store.
Is YOUR blog a magnificent beat?
I don't care what anyone says, spam is the best. "Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a weblog web site? The account aided me a applicable deal.I have been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered shiny clear idea" Ha! Later I … Continue reading Is YOUR blog a magnificent beat?
In which I talk to myself about what’s wrong with me. (part 1 of 1,000,000)
I thought I’d write a writer’s block post like everyone else does when they have writer’s block. Why do I have a block? Because of the imaginary little man in my head who criticizes and humiliates me. Based on a true, pathetic story, a real TL;DR. If I ever get to meet God, the first … Continue reading In which I talk to myself about what’s wrong with me. (part 1 of 1,000,000)
Blue, Yellow, and Black – Song Lyric Sunday prompt
The prompt caught my eye on Fandango's blog. Original prompt can be found at Jim Adam's Song Lyric Sunday. The word is "colors." When I saw the writing prompt word, a couple of songs popped into my head, "Blue and Yellow" (2002) by The Used and "Black is Black" (1966) by Los Bravos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W_lQewmIwI I … Continue reading Blue, Yellow, and Black – Song Lyric Sunday prompt
A Cut and Color.
A story.. “Put it on,” she said, with one wave of her cigarette. I obediently put it on. The necklace had an oval turquoise stone set into a silver fleur-de-lis. She was taking a deep drag as I did so. She exhaled. “Yes, that looks very nice with your new hair.” I remember the first … Continue reading A Cut and Color.
Histrionics (writing prompt.)
You call me a bitch, Say I'm hysterical, Look like a witch, Being heretical. Stomp like a child, Screech, make no sense. Look at that girl--pretty, mild-- I'm wrapped too tight, way too tense. But I think it's pretty ironic, You're flailing your arms, Shrieking I'M histrionic. I discovered this prompt on the blog The … Continue reading Histrionics (writing prompt.)
