It doesn’t matter how deep you drive your rusty hook into me, or how many times you ask me, does this hurt? and twist harder: does this hurt? I will never let you know it did.
I will not accept a drop of water from you to wash myself clean of rivers of blood, the blood I’d rather see pour down my face and all over your guilty hands.
No, no matter any of this, I will never give you the satisfaction of a single of my tears, nor the glimpse of a fleeting flinch, nor the pale glint of a whitened knuckle.
I am speaking, of course, about getting my teeth cleaned.
My dentist is a registered sex offender and there tends to be a frequently revolving door at the office. I had a new hygienist today and had to keep myself mentally entertained while she fumbled about.
Remember, these people are SICK and get into this business because they love to see pain! Never show them! I don’t care if they rip my tooth out and shove it my face, I’ll only smile and ask if they could take one from the other side to keep things even.
Who the Hell Knows? 
First, I snickered a lot when I read this.
Second, on a more serious note, this tends to be my philosophy to deal with the world. (I hate the word philosophy. Too many “Phs”. Why we can’t have nice and sensible spelling in English?)
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I’m glad you snickered. Sadly in this world there are people who enjoy seeing the pain they inflict on others, although I don’t believe there are too many true cases of these. Mainly people are thoughtless and don’t notice the damage they do. Sometimes I’m stoic and hide what I’m feeling, other times I use my womanly privilege to cry and get what I want.
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I’m so confused, I have so many questions! Is this half truth, half fiction? Obvs it would be illegal for a dentist to work as a dentist if they were a sex offender…
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Well, at least here it would be. But if they are a sex offender then I have a thousand urgent follow up questions!
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It is half-truth, half-fiction. Was my visit that bad? No. But it always seems like they want it to be true. Is it true about my dentist? Sadly yes.
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Ouch, Hetty! If this is a true representation of your dentist, you need a new one urgently! You created a dark image of the oral health service here.
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Hahaha, no, thankfully it is fiction, but SHE was hoping it was fact.
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Wow you did a great job with making feel real! Well done!
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It’s real in the hearts of many.
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Indeed.
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Ouch, hope the pains subsiding ☹️
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Oh it wasn’t for real, but these dental peeps wish it was.
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Ha. Funny. (Or is it.) You gotta wonder. At some point in the very early days of the Eventual Dentist, was a decision made? Were there several gap-toothed cats in the area? Did Mom and Dad have hushed, late night talks over the kitchen table?
All I can say is, I’m glad they are there, and that someone invented novocaine.
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It’s weird how much care human teeth need. Probably too much sugar in our diets.
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It seems like teeth aren’t designed to last as long as the rest of us, but in terms of evolution, it doesn’t make a lot of sense that things were so uneven. Or else early humans didn’t have enough access to sugar and carbos, as you say.
Plus, how would you even practice dentistry back then, before the invention of pliers?
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I shudder to think how. But I’m sure a know-it-all will come along and tell us.
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Sex offender dentist. Don’t be alone knocked out while your mouth is open.
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Oh is that why he’s so insistent on getting my wisdom teeth out?
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LOL!
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Perfect. Choose a pushing middle age Asian female with small hands.
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No, no, that’s the other dentist in the practice (seriously).
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Interesting. Do these people like causing tooth pains?
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What they like is seeing the pain and fear on your face. The dentist exercises little power over me because I’m pretty lucky in the tooth department, but they know how scared so many people are of the dentist and they exploit that for their own sadistic pleasure.
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I see. I’m still quite confused, but I assume this is an analogy, so very well.
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No, it’s not an analogy! They really are like this!
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Omg
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Don’t worry, it wasn’t really like that.
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Ha ha. I often wonder why people would want to get into that industry at all. Why would you want to put your hands in a persons drooly, smelly mouth and clean up? I was thinking perhaps there is a sense of satisfaction about cleaning up such a space, but likely you are on to something here. There is something fishy about it all. That really makes a lot more sense. Shudder.
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I wonder that myself. I always make sure to floss and brush before I go to the dentist, but I bet there are people who go straight after lunch, figuring the hygienist can take care of it for them. Plus if people are sick that must be really gross to see with that bright light and magnifier.
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Shudder!
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“My dentist is a registered sex offender and there tends to be a frequently revolving door at the office. ” – this is an amazing opening line. It needs to be the first line of a novel, it is that fantastic
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Truth is stranger than fiction, I guess! Who needs an imagination?
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Ohhhh my! You got me again. Riveting story. I think presenting as a stoic patient to a sex offender de Sade Dentist is the ultimate challenge to them. That’s probably why he does his best work on you.
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I was hoping one or two of the regulars would read the beginning and roll their eyes, thinking they were in for an emo ride. Luckily that day the offender wasn’t there. He’s a really good dentist though. He already paid his debt to society, I guess 🤷♀️.
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We can all find redemption if we desire it. This was well done and I was cringing thinking of the PTSD that was being stored up after that visit. But most of all, I liked your never give in stance. I was ready for some imaginary fist bumps and hell yes.
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Well I’ve been lucky at the dentist thus far in my life but I really do mean it when I say I won’t give them any satisfaction!
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Don’t do it. If they see you crack just a little, it’s going to turn into a root canal. I’m lucky, my dental hygienist is a hoot. We start on a subject and yak it up the whole time. She ends up talking more because I have to shut up and let her work. My dentist rarely has to actually do anything. Of course, that will likely change after I go total senile and all my teeth and hair fall out. I’ll become one of their cash cows.
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Lol what.
Thankfully, my visits to the dentist rarely involve pain (but the sonic ringing does travel all the way up my brain sometimes). What hurts more is their interest in carrying on a conversation while holding my mouth open with pointy tools.
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All my dental phobias are triggered in one post. 😅
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It’s okay to be afraid. The key is, don’t let on! They’re like dogs, they smell fear.
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LOL. They don’t respect fear.
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