On someone’s bad advice, we went shopping at a certain clothing “boutique” to buy a suit for my fiancé.
And boy did I encounter some sticker shock as soon as I walked in and made a beeline to a lovely cashmere coat:
It’s a little blurry, but that’s almost twelve thousand dollars.
Twelve thousand dollars?! I literally can’t even afford the sales tax on that.
Soon a salesman whisks us away and lays out a suit, and then before I can pretend to wrinkle my nose to show I don’t believe it’s good enough for my fiancé so that we can get out of there immediately, he whisks us over to the fitting room.
This is what they have in the sitting area:
Yes, the place is that expensive. I can tell the people shopping there are very rich because they’re dressed as crappily as I am.
The salespeople were very kind but I feel odd because I wonder how kind they’d be if they knew my background and that I could not spend money there. Maybe that’s an unfair thing to say. Everyone was so nice and friendly, but it seemed like a haven for rich people where they could kick back and have a pleasant time because there were no rabble around to ruin it. I felt like an imposter.
[As an aside, I filed the experience away as a lesson to treat customers kindly no matter what I think of their budget. Where I work, while we do get a very diverse population of shoppers, we draw primarily lower-income customers whom we view as adversaries to disparage and fight with, and hopefully drive away, rather than provide good service to.]
At the same time, I don’t want to bash rich people. I mix with people of all backgrounds. I know people whom I surmise are very rich based on their ability to foot the bill for all sorts of charity projects at church, but they don’t act differently towards anyone and I’m not embarrassed to be around them. The town where the shop is located is a snooty place renowned for its snootiness, so I suppose there’s no real reason to take things personally.
I confess I have a chip on my shoulder about my socioeconomic background. My dad says we’re lower than white trash because they have motorcycles and big-screen TVs and we don’t. People don’t really guess until a topic comes up and I have to do things like admit I’ve never been on an airplane or a vacation of any kind or tell them where I live and what my family does.
Anyways, the suit was ridiculously priced. The whole time he was trying it on and being pinned and tucked, the gears in my head were spinning like mad to produce an excuse to exit the place gracefully without looking poor. But my fiancé was so excited that I didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble.
I have to say though, to me it’s an odd sight to see men taking such an interest in their attire. Men stood on stools (“risers,” they are called) in front of mirrors and there weren’t women around to circle and inspect them. I can’t fathom being with a man who would care so much about his everyday clothing that he’d spend a small fortune AND get it tailored on top of it all. I don’t want to wake up and see my husband looking at himself in the mirror, holding clothes up to his body and frowning. While my fiancé is always happy for me to pick out a nice outfit for him, I really don’t think he’d notice if I handed him a burlap sack to put on.
So far, I still haven’t tried on a single dress. I think I will be the first bride ever to make sure everyone else has an outfit first! We did purchase rings. My friend thinks she’s taking me shopping to get one that she picked out and I don’t know how to tell her that my fiancé and I already bought them. I don’t care about getting a deal—it was more important that we share the experience together. She’s the type to be really mad so I’m going to have to figure out a nice way to tell her.
That’s it for now, y’all. God bless.
Who the Hell Knows? 
That sounds like quite the place. Where you can get hammered (judging from the ₱icture) while trying on a suit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some people will find any excuse!
LikeLiked by 2 people
My wedding dress was very expensive and the way they catered to me was unreal. When I went with my husband to get him fitted for his suit. I needed to explain to the saleman that my husband needed a little bit of guidance to look his best. My husband thinks it is still 1980. I hope you find the perfect dress for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t dress myself but I can dress him. And haircuts! I absolutely hate babysitting the haircutter but there’s no other way. I dread shopping for a dress because I don’t want to encounter lousy attitudes or pushy salespeople.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hear you on haircuts. Its the only place I am bratty. Last time I went I said I want a dusting and I lose 4 inches in length I was livid. I hope you find a place that treats you well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I become a coward when getting my own hair cut.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too. My daughter is a stylist and she knows how difficult I am about my hair. Not to mention I am tender headed.
LikeLike
If it makes you feel better, I’ve not been to an airplane either. Hell, most of the people I know are not either.
My mother used to joke that we’ll need a suitcase full of money to get on the flight, before she went on multiple local flights herself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess if someone REALLY wants to go somewhere, they find a way to do it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That suit could feed a lot of people. So not worth it, but at least you got to see the treatment you do get for that price tag
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the usual boilerplate response to hearing someone spent too much, but I’ve never met anyone who’s taken as much shit from people and still has a good heart, so he deserves to feel good for once in his life.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree. Looking good works wonders
LikeLiked by 1 person
Huh. I still have the one suit. It’s old, but then again, it’s never out of style. I wear it about once every ten years. I didn’t have a suit for my own wedding, so the cheap rent-a-reverend was better dressed than me. I have to note that the price of our first house was probably less than the cost of a state-of-the-art wedding today.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh gosh I can’t believe what people spend on weddings. I’m going very simple on everything. It is only immediate family. The church is already beautiful and doesn’t need a lot of flowers. People spend fortunes on flowers and I just don’t get it.
LikeLike
I would be overjoyed to buy a house that costs less than a state-of-the-art wedding!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I su₱₱ose if you are looking for suggestions for wedding dresses, you can always ask one of Joe Biden’s gender transitioning born male cabinet ministers for advice.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Women don’t even realize how dumb they look taking makeup and fashion advice from men pretending to be women. I hear they get period cramps now, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whew! What an experience. Here is a life lesson I learned from being forced to mingle with international government and financial aristocracy. Hold your head high, make no apologies for your existence, and never allow yourself to be trapped by the glitter. It’s all fake, concocted under false pretense to bedazzle and disarm potential victims. Never accept an unkind word from arrogance. The world is full of pompous asses and they are the first to be hanged by the proletariat during the revolution. Afford them none of your attention. Proper Attitude and an air of confidence is your passport through any portal; rich, royal, or poor. And finally, if you can’t think of a good exit plan then fart as loud as you can and promptly excuse yourself from the scene. No one will chase after you.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You’re right, Dan. (not about the fart though–women don’t fart.) I think I probably look down on myself more than how much I imagine other people to do. Class warfare can be pretty ugly down at the bottom, too, though people don’t like to talk about that. They neglect to mention that those proletariats, when finished hanging the capitalist, will turn around and begin doing the same thing. It’s probably best for the soul to have the opportunity to get knocked down a few pegs when necessary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can definitely say, I’ve seen the best and worst of both worlds. To me, fostering an attitude of dignity and grace can transcend class but not in every case, as there are many who don’t possess dignity or grace regardless of their status. Having a humble nature is a good thing. You are an excellent historian by pointing out the revolutionaries adopt the ways they fought to overthrow. I have a friend in Germany who’s annual income is what the average American makes in a couple of months and they are expecting their 6th child. They are facing some tough times with a struggling economy in Europe as it is here. A lot of middle class people are going to join the ranks of the poor while the wealthy won’t be buying as many luxury items. The knock down is coming and if we are fortunate, we’ll be wiser about the importance of benevolence toward each other. I’ve heard that women don’t fart. It’s another feat of amazing discipline and public decorum. I wonder if that’s because women have less monkey genes than men? 🤔
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it’s indeed worrying to think what happens when people get that scarcity mentality and start blaming people. I share your hope that people will be wiser this time around. I wonder if things would be different for many people if families lived together more? My grandmother grew up during the Great Depression, and her family was not rich by any means yet they didn’t suffer terribly because they pooled all their resources together. (and I think women benefit from having two X chromosomes, there’s something wrong on that Y that causes the gross bodily noises and smells.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
My grand parents on both sides had huge extended family mainly because both families had lived in the same area (north Florida) since the 1790’s. During the depression my grandfathers were 36 and 15. Both families had large farms which allowed them to survived by producing most of what they needed or trading with another family member from their farm. We have always survived hard times by having a good work ethic and the love of family no matter what. So I do think tight family relations are critical to navigating the challenges life can throw at us.
And you may have a point there about that Y chromosome. I need to look into that and maybe come up with a solution to remove the monkey butt gene. 🤔
LikeLike
It’s probably too late for people in our society to change their minds about family, sadly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so too. We’ve gone too far to go back. I’m not sure how this all turns out, but it will be different than anything I’m used to. I’ll stay over here in my dinosaur den and try not to get in the way of progress. 🦕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Twelve thousand is crazy. Last summer my wife and I went shopping for a nice dress and a new suit for me because we were attending our first wedding (our niece) in more than a decade. It was a very nice store with high quality items, and I thought it was very expensive. We paid a thousand for the dress and the suit. We have a lot of weddings coming up now including our oldest son’s wedding, so it feels like it’s worth it but twelve thousand isn’t worth a 100 weddings.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Thomas. Haha no, the suit was not quite that much, that was a ladies’ cashmere coat I saw. He’s not wearing that to the wedding 😅. I much preferred that he get a nice suit rather than a tux because first, I hate tuxedos, second, he can wear the suit many more times. And thanks for commenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I misread. Yes, a suit is a lot more useful. I’ve rented a tux a couple of times but I would never buy one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah and think of all the people who sweat in it before you 🥵. Not enough dry-cleaning to fix that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
hmmm I am glad I did not think about that back then
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I might rent a tux if James Bond wore it. He probably doesn’t ever sweat.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I detect a man-crush.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No. I’m just sayin’ he wore nice clothes. And he moves like a panther.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I might wear a tux that James Bond sweat in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Wedding preps are happening, you getting excited.
Rich or poor we should always be decent to all, without judgement . Easier said then done. Our socialeconomic situation should not be a barrier to being a good human being, . Being a good human being doesn’t cost money. In my humble opinion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re absolutely right, Bella. Money doesn’t matter–you can lose everything in a single day. But you don’t have to lose your character. The wedding stuff–yes I’m beginning to get more excited. I’m happy we’re getting married in January because it’s fun that the shopping and preparations are happening during the Christmas season. It makes it feel more memorable somehow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah i am excited for you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Bella.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The rich person store thing…I grew up upper-middle class (I think?) with extremely frugal parents, one of whom had grown up poor, so my upbringing was coupons and clearance rack (which was 100% fine – I have no resentment about this). I was once in a conversation with coworkers about buying stuff at Nordstrom and it took a lot of acting ability to not react to the prices. It’s just funny what gets ingrained to you as “reasonable” and “not reasonable”.
Anyway, I’m sure you and your fiance will figure it out and look fabulous.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I’m weird about prices myself. My father is a waiter and growing up, the cost of everything was measured in how many assholes he had to wait on to be able to pay for it. Even now I still think that way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I mean, he has a point. That thinking helps keep one from becoming spoiled.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unfortunately, not quite. All it did was create an agonizing guilt complex.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm fair point.
This is not exactly related, but you reminded me of the time when shortly after I moved out and was living in my own for the first time. I was talking to mom and telling her about a recent grocery shopping trip and how I made sure to buy pasta on sale. She asked how much I spent. I told her. She gasped because she would have never paid that much for pasta (she would have done some kind of magical coupon Olympics or whatever) and she managed to convince me that I was completely incompetent at grocery shopping. The extreme frugality mindset is not always so helpful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Really it doesn’t help. I’m one who grew up on low income and till date I’m find it hard to buy stuffs at prices above my mind’s range or would I say (mindset’s range), whether I have the money or not.
These days I just gasp at how much people spend on things in contrast to how much I know we spend. And I’m like God are we dat poor??😁
LikeLiked by 2 people
For me, I always feel like I need to justify every penny I spend and make a big deal about any money saved.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a mom thing. Mine’s the same way. You will never, ever get a better deal than she can.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All my life I thought we were of average, normal economic status. Then, later in life, with added perspective I realized that when I was little, we were poor. I get by OK now, but I’m still taken aback by what I feel are exorbitant price tags, and I find myself not buying stuff I want because “it costs too much.” I will still stop and pick a dime up off the sidewalk. You never know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also thought I grew up average “normal” economic status. It wasn’t till I was much older that I realized that not everyone went to camp because not everyone’s parents could afford camp. My parents were much better off than I ever realized because they were so frugal, and that mentality around prices stuck with me. The first time I bought jeans that weren’t from the clearance rack was a bizarre experience. The jeans weren’t even really a splurge; it was just so ingrained me that one was not supposed to spend any more money than necessary.
LikeLiked by 3 people
It’s a funny thing. I read about a study where grade school children were asked to draw circles the size of a quarter. Kids from low-income homes consistently drew the circles larger, I suppose reflecting their perceived value.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Exactly my feel
LikeLiked by 2 people
For a very brief time, I was 20 or 21, I had a job as grunt in ahigh end men’s wear store. I was “trainable.” the whole place except me, the boss and the girl who filed her fingernails all day (well, the tailors were upstairs) went to the same party and got the flu or something. There I was, marking cuffs and inseams and shoulders… With hair past my shoulders and a Pierre Cardin suit. I’ve never quite understood the peacock thing outside of theatrics. Anyway, I was out getting what hair I have left cut not long ago and it was the geezer issue of GQ on the table. I picked it up, and the fashion notations were “On pg 23 Mr. Pacino is wearing a cashmere coat, wool from only lambs aged 398 days and knit by blind, three fingered indigenous people from a mountaintop in Chile, $12,512” Jesus. I knew a guy in college who went on to become a big wheel at an Eastern energy company. He showed up at the guys who sold pot back college’s funeral. His nails were buffed and his shoes were worth more than a decent lawyer makes in three years. His suit, according to a wide-eyed young woman, cost seven grand. Huh? There’s a point where “quality” and cost hit a point of diminishing returns.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup that’s exactly the kind of stuff I’m talking about. I just don’t get it at all. Or maybe I missed the boat somewhere. Who knows. But yes at a certain point the returns begin diminishing very rapidly. Love your GQ magazine description. I wouldn’t be shocked if it really said that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was close.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gah, I can totally relate to feeling out of place in swankier places. As part of the media who’s had to cover events for the 1%, I definitely felt like a chump one too many times around people who were living the high life. Maybe that should be my new goal. To be able to feel comfortable with myself no matter where I am and who I’m with. Anyway, good luck with your wedding preparations!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure you probably have some interesting stories to tell about those days!
LikeLike
I grew up dirt poor and was abundantly shamed for it by upper-middle class peers, their parents and even teachers. I never could figure out why children and adults are shamed for things beyond their control.
Your friend wanted to pick out your wedding ring? I never heard of that before. I sure hope she doesn’t get mad that you and your husband picked out and purchased your own. That seems like the natural course of wedding ring things. Maybe you can distract her. This is an exciting time for you and your fiancé. Blessing galore! I wish you oodles of happiness and shalom bayit (peace in the home).
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s almost like people enjoy lording it over other people. Or they’re afraid of being contaminated or something. I’m sure you’d never treat anybody likewise after your experiences.
And yes, my friend was mad at me, but I painted it as look, my fiancé talked to me about how he really wanted us to do it together etc etc. (Like most normal people!!) Thank you for your blessing 🙏.
LikeLike
It boggles my mind that teachers and adults shame and bully children. I cannot stand inequities and socio-economic snobbery and will always call it out wherever I see it. I can’t believe she was mad at you. 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
I went through that with a teacher in seventh grade, to this day I still don’t understand, maybe some things simply can’t be understood. Like getting mad that your friend wants to pick out her wedding ring with her future husband.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True…we’ll never understand why some people do the things they do.
LikeLiked by 2 people