I can't know everything. They expect me to know everything, but I can't know everything. Yet people have become accustomed to the belief that I know everything. Some associates won't even deal with their own manager and will only come to me. I'm not a manager, I'm only a peon just like them, just a … Continue reading Oopsie poopsie
Tag: department stores
Is this fair? You be the judge.
As you don't recall, I have had a steady upward trajectory of wage changes over the years. In fact, they have skyrocketed with my time and experience. I used to make 6.6% above minimum wage, now I make 1.5% (4/17/21) I went from 6.6% to 1.5% to 18.1% above minimum wage. (8/8/21) But it gets … Continue reading Is this fair? You be the judge.
Christmas as told in Santa letters
My store has a mailbox that people drop letters to Santa in. I empty it when hopefully no children are around to see. (Even though Gen Z is probably more jaded than I am, sad to say.) The letters run the whole gamut of human experience, everything from wishes for one's departed mother to laundry … Continue reading Christmas as told in Santa letters
Random craps #51: Retail Christmas Edition
One cannot overstate the deleterious effects the holiday season has on a retail worker. Did you know that holiday music has been shown to induce a months-long psychosis (four thousand versions of all I want for Christmas is my heart I gave you last Christmas... God help us all). If you think it's annoying how … Continue reading Random craps #51: Retail Christmas Edition
Would you hire me for a job?
Don't answer that. Anyways, this is something I'm very much interested in hearing people's varied feedback on. At work, I'm marginally involved in hiring. I'm not a manager so I do not directly hire (and have zero desire to ever do so--I don't want to be blamed for the stinkers), but I do review applications … Continue reading Would you hire me for a job?
Meanwhile, at the ant farm…
UPDATE: I totally forgot this part but it perfectly illustrates how the boss thinks of the associates. Let's say she doesn't like "John" (because John probably is over fifty-five and keeps his head down because he's, you know, working). She'll refer to all associates she doesn't like collectively as "the Johns." Isn't that nice? Many … Continue reading Meanwhile, at the ant farm…
We’re overdue for a retail rant!
Howdy! If you're sick of all the Thanksgiving GIF's, enjoy a commercial break by reading a rant from a retail worker during one of the most hellish weeks of the year! It's gonna get ugly. First, can't really report any good news on my editing project. During this time of year in retail, pretty much … Continue reading We’re overdue for a retail rant!
I went from 6.6% to 1.5% to 18.1% above minimum wage.
Oh yes, it's a job rant! And you know who that means! If you don't want to hear about her, go away! If you know my story you might not believe me, but I managed to wrangle a raise out of my boss. Instead of doing yearly reviews, they’re now doing quarterly ones so that … Continue reading I went from 6.6% to 1.5% to 18.1% above minimum wage.
At least work was better for a little while.
Believe it or not, for two whole weeks, I… liked my job. And my boss wasn't even on vacation. Although I wish she were on permanent vacation. For several months now, I’ve been sans direct manager in the office, which puts a heavy burden on me because I have to perform a manager’s job at … Continue reading At least work was better for a little while.
I used to make 6.6% above minimum wage, now I make 1.5%.
I have undergone the yearly job review ceremony, also known as a foregone conclusion. The vast majority of the review is the store’s total results, so everyone basically starts out with a failure. It’s not even worth getting upset about it. I might as well stick my tongue out at my boss's back, as I … Continue reading I used to make 6.6% above minimum wage, now I make 1.5%.
10% off if you strip in public and blame the store.
Sometimes when I’m getting ready for work, I delay going to the bathroom until I get there so I can do it on the clock and waste a couple of minutes before I go to the office. The other morning, I headed to the bathroom, whistling and thinking about ways to avoid my boss and … Continue reading 10% off if you strip in public and blame the store.
Uhh don’t follow the money.
At the store, we recently had a theft of nearly two thousand dollars from a drawer in which money is kept to distribute for change. My job is to prepare the money that goes into that drawer every day and count what’s left of it the next morning. Anyway, no one will say what happened. … Continue reading Uhh don’t follow the money.
I have no friends at work.
Lately I think I have the loneliest job in the entire store. Everyone else has at least one peer, whereas I am the only one in my job function. My title is “Administrative Colleague.” I used to be part of the “Administrative Support Team,” but the team dwindled down from five employees to one. No … Continue reading I have no friends at work.
Escape to the Food Court: May I Please Go to the Bathroom Now? Part 3
(Hiding inside a rack full of men's coats, I, the administrative assistant of a highly prestigious department store, had just witnessed my boss stuff cash from a register down her shirt.) I remained inside the men’s coat rack until I saw my boss go back up the escalator. Why, what a fiend! She just walked away … Continue reading Escape to the Food Court: May I Please Go to the Bathroom Now? Part 3
My inexorable, abusive, idiot boss. #FOWC
Written for Fandango's One Word Challenge, "inexorable." You might want to go away if you don't want to read a job rant. You have been warned. I have never met a security guard who didn’t smoke. I went outside to wait for my ride and the security manager came out shortly after. She leaned against … Continue reading My inexorable, abusive, idiot boss. #FOWC
Who the Hell Knows? 
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