Just wanna say hi

Earthbound Tenda says he's shy.

Haven’t been the most prolific blogger as of late, so I thought, why don’t I pop in, say hi, and get back in the game? So, hi. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about posting because I don’t want people to get annoyed with an email or notification. In fact, I’m sitting here right now wondering if people will be annoyed that I made a post just to say something like that. I’ll just have to presume on your good will.

No significant updates on the boss situation. It’s not even funny anymore, if it ever was funny. Joking is a way of coping. But it never improves and I’m just sick and tired of it. She’s on vacation this week THANK GOD. The woman is supposed to get nine weeks off a year and probably only uses two and a half of them.

Anyways, onto a different topic for once.

Believe it or not, I’m actually quite a shy person. I don’t seem terribly shy in person, especially at work, but it takes just about everything in me to pretend not to be. I am afraid of customers and I hate when new hires come in to train because I don’t like meeting so many new people. I get so nervous before I go to work that I cry sometimes and pray they don’t show up. The national employment situation being what it is, my prayer is usually answered. I know it’s pretty sad to be shy at thirty-four years old. Somewhere along the way it stops being quirky and becomes a personality disorder.

Speaking of disorders. Increasingly it’s getting harder to hide my agoraphobia. I much prefer to stay home than go… anywhere. When I do go out, it’s never alone. If I didn’t have my fiance, I’d probably be a shut-in. I shouldn’t have let it get this bad but I’m afraid to go to therapy because they make you do CBT or exposure therapy. I did that back in college when I thought I was having panic attacks, but it didn’t work because they were actually seizures. I spent so many years being afraid of having a seizure in public before I knew what they were that now it’s too late to train myself out of it.

I managed to get my neurologist to write a letter excusing me from jury duty because of the condition. I interned at the court when I was in college, more moons ago than I can count. One time I had a seizure and had to go home sick. Thinking it was a panic attack, I was ashamed and lied that I had a migraine. I don’t think they believed me, and ever after that I had an aversion to the place. I’m utterly useless as far as jury duty is concerned anyway.

In public, the way I deal with this is self-deprecation. Self-deprecation is my way of life. If I can humiliate myself before someone else can, then I can deflect questions and protect the truth about me. Of course, it might sound counterproductive or nonsensical to make up an embarrassing story about myself in order to protect the embarrassing truth, but hey at least it’s my voluntary decision, right? Lying about myself is the only control I have over this. For example, I don’t want to tell people the real reason I don’t drive (fear of seizures and going out alone) so I make a joke about how bad I was at it and how grateful they ought to be that I’m not on the road.

Well, changing gears–the writing situation. It’s clear I’m not blogging as much. I have a ton of things I prepared but never posted and now the moment has passed. I find that if I don’t strike while the iron’s hot, I never will. I enjoy using the “OneNote” program which allows you to create a notebook, add sections, and then pages within the section. It’s great for keeping track of story chapters and ideas, or a shadow blog no one is in danger of reading. I’m sorry to bring it up if you’re already familiar with this method. I’m always pretty late to the party.

My internet addiction has quite a grip on me lately and I wish I could break the habit. I don’t read enough books anymore, I’m just glued to my phone or computer looking for stuff to get outraged about, which isn’t difficult. I am lucky enough to have an “accountability partner” for writing and reading, otherwise I’d probably do nothing at all.

That’s my update for today, just want to be low-key, nothing too dramatic. I’m more interested in hearing what other people have to say. Say anything. Just please don’t ask about my hair (yes it looks like shit again).

PS: Two things I hate about WordPress right now: One, when I “like” someone’s comment, it gets “unliked” after a moment or two and I have to click it again. Second, the font in post editing mode is too light and with my dirty glasses which I’m too lazy to clean, I can barely see it. If anyone has insight into either of these issues, besides to suggest cleaning my glasses, let me know.

107 thoughts on “Just wanna say hi

  1. Well, nice to see you again. For the internet problem, maybe try to find some ebooks? Or go the hardcore root of not using internet for a whole day. It has worked great for me. I usually do that on Sundays.

    Sadly, I’m no help when it comes to the two problems you mentioned in the end.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I DO have e-books, that’s the sad thing. I even signed up for Kindle Unlimited. The temptation is just so strong. Going a whole day would truly be hardcore in my case. Heck, going an HOUR is hardcore for me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi again! I’m using my phone to read this and it’s not fun. I’ll make sure to read your posts again tomorrow on the PC and reply with a better comment (and read the other comments before I hit send). Sounds like you need a little micro management. Start small. Take a five minute walk, as an example, and work up to ten minutes after a week or so, or maybe a month even. The same applies to other things too. Don’t look at the big picture and get overwhelmed; look at the “building blocks” of the big picture and it all comes together. If that makes any sense.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I know it’s all about the “baby steps.” It’s sad that it’s gotten to the point where even five minutes sounds daunting to me. Way back when, I used to walk a couple miles every day in any weather, but I had a couple of seizures walking and then I became afraid of going out. I wish I had known what they were so that I could have been treated for them. I know you would get the absence seizures, so you know how it goes.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello and lovely to have you back. You know what? I am 52 and haven’t figured out anything with my mental health no matter how positive I try to be on my blog. The only way I can cope lately is: I am what I am and what I sm needs no excuses! Please don’t start singing 🤣 . You are ok exactly as you are and the rest of the world can go and do so.ething rude, I am not allowed to say publicly. 😁. Thanks for your comments and regular reading. I appreciate your presence 🤗 Take care and know there are ppl thinking of you. 🥰

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks, Bee. I always feel like I have to apologize to people and provide excuses to them. Turning thirty helped me not care about certain shallow things I worried about, but the worry always shifts to something else. Guess I’m just a worry-wort. Thanks for your support.

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      1. You are not alone in this. I still feel the same. But when it comesto blogging I now feel there are so many posts out there if I don’t have one it’s fine and WP readers are very forgiving. They are just happy when you are back 🤗

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Hetty 🤗 I’m sorry to hear that you struggle with so many things. I believe that your anxiety is everything but pleasant.
    For me, anxiety in others is somehow cute, because I imagine that the person cares more than others. It can be a feature, not just a bug especially when you’re near people to who you can relate. I have a boyfriend who I was very nervous to be with at first because well, we’re both anxious and sometimes it helps to be near calmer people. Now that we know each other better I love even my anxiety sometimes (other times, I still get annoyed, it has this effect, won’t lie).

    How do you see the anxiety in others?

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I like your perspective on the matter, Maja. In some ways, anxiety does come from caring, in a backwards sort of a way. I too need to be near calmer people because I get bent out of shape really easily when I’m with someone also high-strung. Having had a lot of experience in the anxiety department, I tend to cut other people a lot of slack for their own anxiety. If they’re showing it or admitting to it, who knows how bad it feels inside?

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  5. Hey Hetty, you’re sounding really down. Perhaps it’s time for a change. Being self conscious is very common, as you know I’m a diabetic and I used to try to hide when I had hypos, but now I tell people and they help me. Most people are decent. Your acrophobia needs to be addressed. You can’t live inside, that’s just existing. I joined a writers group, that’s helping me. I think this is becoming a lecture, but at 51 I look back and think I wasted so much time worrying about what people thought of me instead of living, and in all honesty I wasn’t important enough for them to think about in any case. Take a stand Hetty and be you, I think you’ll be surprised how easy it really is.

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    1. You make a good point, Bee–living inside really is merely existing. I do get out to go walking or go to church, and I belong to a few groups at church, but I just don’t go alone, ever. It’s very limiting and I look around and get a little envious of everyone else who can just get in their car and go. I forget that people probably don’t think about me as much as I think they do–I’m very creepy and spend time thinking of them so I figure everyone else must do the same 😄.Gotta be free to be me, I guess. Thanks as always.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Try something small, go into a shop on your own and buy something readily available. You’ve just got to take that initial step

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi!
    Good I’m not the only one who thinks the font weight in the WordPress compose window is too light to see. Actually NOT good. Anyway, I quit using WP, but what I did before that was compose in a word processor and copy/paste. That actually had the other benefit of being easier to use.
    I totally get the self-deprecation thing, as I do that and used to do it too much. I was in the 7th grade and had a crush on a certain girl and in a round of truth-or-dare (don’t judge me) I was asked who I “liked, and to deflect from the embarrassment of revealing this, I named a different girl. Which shows how dumb I was/am. But for some reason I thought being embarrassed over a lie was more manageable than being embarrassed about the truth!
    (That story is true. I’m too old to worry now.)
    Have a good week!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I was referring to the compose window, plus I don’t use WP anymore, but I’m sure all the guidance possible is welcome, what with Word Press’s cryptic customization scheme.

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        1. sure. WP are continually updating it and making it easier / harder. I too agree copy paste from Word makes it easier – I do it too.

          I will create via the customise and whilst writing a post. Yes, I agree it can be a pain, and copy pasting is easier

          Liked by 3 people

          1. It does have to do with my theme. I found a setting in the post editor that turns off making your drafts look like your theme. That darkened up the text for me. Now I am going to go and see if I can do anything about the theme appearance itself.

            Liked by 1 person

        2. I figured it out–it’s my theme. There’s a setting in the draft editor to turn off having the draft look like the theme. That made it darker, so now I’m going to try and make the blog font darker.

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    1. You quit AGAIN Roy?! It’s like some kind of troubled relationship. LOL at the crush thing–I totally remember those days. Except I was the girl people were embarrassed of. If they thought of me at all. But anyways that’s exactly what I’m talking about: better to be embarrassed over a lie than the truth! This one has me laughing out loud. Re: the WordPress thing–I usually do write in a word processor and then copy + paste but from time to time I like to write directly on WordPress, it sort of puts me in a blogging mood.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha! Yeah I did quit but left the site up (with a link to my blogger.com site) kind of like keeping a pack of cigarettes in the desk drawer after you quit.
        I understand the immediacy or connection when writing in the compose window as opposed to the word proc. I use the window in blogger.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Nice to see you! That’s good that you were able to get out of jury duty. I’ve been summoned for jury duty multiple times in the last few years. I keep telling them no can do because I’m crazy, but I guess they keep me near the top of the list to be summoned again.

    I’ve heard of OneNote before but didn’t know what it was, so now I’m enlightened.

    I think the font that shows in the editor is theme-dependent, so changing your theme could make a difference, although it could also be a pain in the ass.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hate jury duty with a passion! It’s almost like they know who hates it the most. I sort of suspect the theme has something to do with it but I don’t want to experiment and mess things up. I’ve had this theme since the beginning and knowing WordPress it might not come back the same way if switch it.

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  8. Hello Hetty! If you think about it, blogging is actually therapeutic. You get to do something you love (writing), it helps your internet addiction, it get things off your chest, and as human beings, we all need to socialize. This is one way to socialize. So….while I know you hate CBT, or it didn’t do anything for you, I’m a huge advocate of it and it’s pretty easy once you get going with it. The examples i mentioned above is one form of CBT. Changing the negative around into something more positive.

    I’m not a therapist, so I won’t belabor on this. I’m sorry you are having such a rough time and I sincerely would love to help, but i know from personal experience that it’s a battle everyone has to fight for themselves. Just know you have people on your side; people who understand, sympathize and actually can relate to your struggles.

    You are not alone. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love CBT – it did once for me and it really helped me. I was self helping myself, then I only 4 sessions of CBT and it really helped me stop thinking all negative things about myself. It is easy overthink and break the unhelpful thinking patterns – and CBT really helps with that.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I did some therapy a few years ago, it wasn’t CBT, it was EMDR, and it definitely helped me with the rut of negative thinking I was caught in. I was in a really bad place at that time and in retrospect needed the help more than I even knew at the time.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. It stands for “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing” therapy. It involves a period of history-taking and talk, and then the therapy. This link explains better than I can: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing. I did not use my eyes (felt physically uncomfortable) and instead held a little vibrating device in each hand that the therapist alternates while you think. Then she stops and asks questions. They use it for all kinds of things from little to big traumas and it is very effective.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. I will say it was quite painful at times. I sometimes cried or even got angry at my therapist for prodding me. I’d leave with my shirt stuck to me from the emotion. But it’s almost like when a person has a tick removed from them–every bit of it has to be pulled out. Pointless rumination on the past is a waste of time and can be harmful, so in that sense I agree.

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                1. That’s way if you work with affirmation, gratitude, journal ,and take baby steps forward and pat yourself in the back for each success – you’ll be a happier you without realising it. And meditation or some sort of spiritual practice where you let silence and God work their magic.. honestly you can make a difference in your life, you can

                  Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks, Joe. I’m very lucky I have people who can relate to it. That’s why I do find blogging pretty therapeutic. Sometimes it’s good just to put it out there and hear what other people have to say, and it gets out of the system. I think maybe I was put off CBT because they recommended things that actually made the seizure worse, like deep breathing. I did find EMDR therapy immensely helpful for other things, but Covid struck and then I couldn’t continue. Thanks for your support and good counsel.

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  9. HI Hetty, Hi back to you. I did not know that about oneNote – actually I don’t know how to use oneNote, I have to figure out of section. Also it is never too late, never tooooooo late. Affirmations work – really work. Routines, and discipline will help. And I want to say that it is your blog and you can write what you like, don’t worry about emails and notifications – bloggers follow you because they like you.

    You are a great person. You are bright and write so well.

    I too am a shy person, have a few social issues, and confidence. I am forever pushing myself forward all the time, and sometimes it is great, and sometimes it is hell. I get your emotions and feeling of being shy and wanting to. Thank God for Journaling.

    Keep blogging and keeping going out and pat yourself on the back for every baby step forward at work – doing the things that you hate. Celebrate them in your journal. Say well done to yourself every day. It will make a massive difference trust me – it will.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Bella. I know that so much of the wisdom you share is hard-won through experience. I too believe in the power of journaling and affirmations. I had always poo-poo’ed them but when I tried them, it really did help me. I should bring out the journal and look over past ones. There were times when I absolutely dreaded going to work the next day, my heart would just pound and pound, and I wrote things out in repetition in the journal and it helped me feel like I could handle whatever would come. Celebrating works too–I do this in my gratitude journal. My gratitude journal is a non-negotiable. Thanks for always being so kind.

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      1. So good to see you back Hetty! These are tough patches of life to be in when we struggle to like ourselves. Most would be familiar with what you say – and please know that you are a gift exactly as you are. I appreciate your earnest honesty and sincere writing. I agree with all the methods Bella of thoughtsnlife blog suggests and wish you lots of self-care and self-love. Keep doing what you know has worked for you, we are all a work in progress. Much Love.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks so much, Pragalbha. It is sometimes easier to say Yup this is me and not fight it so much. I think it’s easier to make progress this way than to try to make ourselves something we’re not. Love to you as well.

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  10. Me Again – so the Font thing – there is a fix. The like issue on WP – I don’t know if that WP – or Windows /Google, or Mobile phone? If I could give a hug. I would. We all go through phases we want to just curl up. Let yourself have those days, but really use all the things you learned in CBT and make baby steps forward. You are great person.

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  11. We shouldn’t complain about what we can fix. Or what we can’t. Until we’ve exhausted all the possibilities. Tech support is wonderful. I’m not sure about hugs from the ether. Put the internet down. It’s neither impossible or gut wrenching. The reason you’re addicted is because you can be. The reason you stay inside is because you can. A man riding in my car saw a lactose intolerance billboard and said “Don’t eat for a couple of weeks and somebody hands you a glass of milk, says that’s all there is, and get back to me on the lactose intolerance.”
    Get someone to lock you out in the rain, and ignore your beating on the door for a couple of hours. See what self preservation kicks in when all your hidey holes are inaccessible. You might end up under a bridge writing something brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know if lactose intolerance cares how long it’s been since you last ate, but I take your point 😉. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that you’re not right in much of what you say. Everything is six of one and half a dozen of the other–is what I say about myself here untrue?, well, I don’t think so; yet at the same time it’s very much the case that I am lazy and I do get away with doing nothing to help myself. And it’s amazing the things a person can do when they simply have no choice but to… do. You’re the counterbalance here so keep up the good work.

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      1. The question here is what is it you’re REALLY afraid of? What’s in your head? Looking foolish in public? Personal accountability? Or, what are you REALLY angry about? We all get screwed on that one. Health issues? Butt ugly? Shit that’s “unfair”? Guess what? Nothin’ you can do about it but “take your meds, live your life.” And “unfair”? Please. That’s the basis for a hundred proverbs.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m afraid I’m going to have some sort of episode away from home and fall and crack my head and get robbed while I’m unconscious. Even best-case scenario, it’s embarrassing. I’ve passed out a couple times and it’s mortifying when you regain awareness and all these faces are looking down at you. I really do just want to take my meds and be left to my own devices. Oh and yeah I don’t like personal accountability either.

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  12. Hi Hetty! I always enjoy your posts because you are so authentic and relatable. You’ve got talent at being yourself. I personally understand the manifestation of introversion, high sensory awareness, and limiting medical conditions. It’s all related to microbiology, genetics, diet, and human design, maybe astrology too. That’s complicated so let’s skip that part. What you describe is not something wrong that must be fixed. It really seems like you desire a bit of change but not ready to try jumping out of airplanes with only a roll of toilet paper. I’m positive there are loads of Tik Tok challenges in the fails section on that popular sport. It’s perfectly okay to feel like crap and not do anything constructive. We earn that right most of the time. But, if you are feeling the desire to change things, have your boyfriend dye his hair lime green and wear Sponge Bob Square Pants boxers. You’d be surprised how much better both of you feel after a good snort laugh. WP is a great way to test the limits of your patience. You made it all the way to posting this blog so you are either a very lucky lady or you are a genius at solving puzzles. I find that the only time WP doesn’t have a like button misfire is when I go directly to the person’s blog site and skip the reader, or expanded reader and do the 18 to 20 clicks to navigate to the blog landing page thru the browser. The font thing has to be changed in the bowels of WP settings with unpredictable results or like other readers mentioned -copy/paste. That’s what I do too. But, the video another reader posted might do the trick for you and me. Finally, I work in research measurement sciences to help design and build things perfectly. However, I like doing everything using the caveman method, which eschews perfection. Perfection is so overrated these days. Living is more fun when we duck walk thru life with broad tolerances and loads of uncertainty to scoff at. I bet you would enjoy that immediately after you see your boyfriend with green hair and Sponge Bob Boxers. I feel you and hope the sunshine comes back for you soon. ☀️😃

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      1. I instantly regretted posting that long bloviation in an attempt at humor while the world churns and burns. I have found that if I lower my bar to the gutter and then laugh at the bawdy circumstances I find myself in, it’s impossible for me to feel bad, even if I remain porch dawg lazy and have chewing gum stuck to my shoes.

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            1. “I don’t know whether to fuck you, melt you, or reverse engineer you.” Turner reached for the handcuffs.
              Akira, stared blankly. non-reactive.
              “Give me a minute…maybe you can do all three…” The voice came from the back of the one as one the soldiers stood. “Before Bass outlawed science, I useta be an exobiologist….and since I’m here…”

              So yeah, Hype…Akira wants to come out. These are the lines that keep knockin’ on my door.

              Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for a great read, Hyperion.. Don’t regret posting it! I always enjoy reading it. I do often feel stuck between the desire to get out of my own skin and fly off somewhere and the stubborn laziness of one who doesn’t want anything to change. In this dilemma, doing nothing naturally always wins out. And yes, while the world burns it down, I guess these problems are a luxury by comparison. But what can we do? Life is meant to be lived, and if we’re too lazy to live it, then at least we can analyze it, and that can keep a person busy for a lifetime. As for seeing him with green hair and SpongeBob boxers, I foresee a real big argument after a stunt like that, not the least because I’d be the one to have to clean up the green mess all over the bathroom.

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      1. Ahhh, the devil is always in the best laid plans. I didn’t have the insights to realize we men folk don’t do certain chores with any kind of tidy finesse. I call myself a Porch Dawg for the same reasons as we discuss here. My hiking trail name is Lord Geezer, 9th Earl of Huff-n-Puff. This bit of self deprecation is a good indication of my own struggles to get up the hill with public decorum or to get off my numb rump to do important things like eat, pee, or lower the toilet seat. My only redemption is if gravity and momentum get a good hold on me, I’ll actually fire up the old motivation machine and get r’ done. I can work hard like a rented mule, but I prefer the motionlessness of being alone in the Void. I suspect when the time is right you’ll ignite the engines of change and adventure and it’s always more fun when shared with another soul. Never mind the green hair and Sponge Bob Boxers. Just ask him what he plans to do with you for Summer and let his imagination take you in unexpected directions. Be young, in love, and see the beauty in little things. Indeed, when I sail along in the Void, I burn no energy but analyze the heck out of everything along the way. When it’s all over, it’s time for bed and then I get to dream all manner of bizarre and liberating things. You can too. It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as it delivers you to nighty-nite time and those dreams are where we truly live our best lives even when scared out of our wits by flying around naked in public or being chased by villagers with pitchforks and torches. Mornings are for coffee and fear of the light. No wonder we seek a comfort zone we don’t need to leave.

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        1. We’re both pretty darn lazy, actually. But if you can’t have fun doing absolutely nothing together, what’s the point, right? I’m glad you have fun dreams–mine are just plain aggravating. I love your hiking name by the way.

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          1. Now that I think about it, you may have just reached a point in life where conservation of energy is important. Conserving energy in a synchronistic partnership has its advantages. I like that you want to go places with another person. I think it’s it’s a good idea. Life is more fun with someone you like being with. I always sign the hiking registries as Lord Geezer. Everybody identifies with the struggle, I just admit it up front. When you see an old dude hiking up the hill huffing and puffing, it’s me. I’m shameless about it. But darn, when I stop and look around, I see myself surrounded by zenful things and that makes the huff-n-puffery worth it for me. When I’m 80, I won’t remember my 20’s, so I have to constantly make new memories to remind myself, I lived. I huffed and puffed but the scenery was awesome.

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  13. I get this. You know self-deprecation is my coping method of choice. Even when I challenged myself to do my own anti-self-deprecation challenge (https://jewishyoungprofessional.wordpress.com/2021/09/20/an-anti-self-deprecation-post-5-things-i-am-good-at/), I didn’t even fully succeed in avoiding self-deprecation because I had to keep inserting it in every “I’m good at this” paragraph. (Which was silly and unnecessary – no one was going to challenge an internet rando to a non-native French accent contest; what was I afraid of?) And I was originally intending for that post to have 7 or 10 things I’m good at, only I couldn’t think of that many so I had to leave it as 5. So I definitely get it. (By the way, don’t think I haven’t noticed that you never took the challenge – I totally noticed; you’re still overdue to think of your 5 things!)
    At the same time, your literal and metaphorical glasses affecting how you see yourself are driving me crazy. I want to clean them for you. For the literal ones, they even sell premoistened lens wipes. So easy! I used to work for a retailer not smart enough to realize that I don’t still work there and my employee discount codes still work for shopping online – I would totally buy them with my discount and give them to you if I could. Anyway, I’m ignoring your request and really, it’s the metaphorical glasses that bother me more. You are so much more awesome than you give yourself credit for. Anyway…
    Totally get the internet addiction. I finally deleted the Facebook app (I was thinking of you when you said you deleted the reddit app) and it helped somewhat. And I totally get the starting and not finishing posts and posting while it is timely. Why do you think Mother’s Day 2021 recap was posted on Mother’s Day 2022? Or why I didn’t post on the Pew Survey on Jewish Americans (May 2021) until Christmas. Believe me, I understand. I think seasonality is one of those things the retailers condition us to care more about (in the most bizarre ways, because on the product side, we’re working on our holiday items now, which need to ship in August/Sept) – I question how much the rest of the world really cares about the reactive seasonal timeliness sometimes. Just post when you feel like it

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    1. Dang, I was hoping you forgot about that list. Maybe I can release one quality a year? It’s hard not to qualify positive statements about ourselves, as though people are going to call us out on it, even online. People have always told me I’m my own worst critic. I’m proud you deleted the FakeBook app. Not only do I not care what people post, but I just find the site functionally ugly and awkward.

      I feel better that your posts take some time to come to fruition, too. I usually just abandon them if I don’t finish them within a week. It’s like I’m afraid people will know I took too long on it.

      If you are working on products now, please stop sending us those ornaments that look like they’re made out of twigs.

      Thanks for your detailed comment, JYP. It’s always a delight to read.

      PS I put my big-girl pants on and washed my glasses with Dawn. I wouldn’t even tell you what I paid for them and then I allow them to get disgusting.

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      1. Hey, I will take that 1 positive quality per year rate of posting. Legit counts. (Also, I’m making up the rules as I go.) It is extremely difficult not to qualify those statements.

        Fakebook is a functionally ugly site. And I feel like it became more visually ugly over time. I’m not a design person and it takes a lot for a design to be so ugly that I feel offended by it, and yet I think Fakebook managed to achieve it.

        Speaking on behalf of your readers (not that I really have to, because you have one of the most vocal and interesting comment sections of any blog I have read) we have no idea how long it took to write a post and we do not care. We just love to hear from you. Also, post seasonality or timeliness is not something we care about. Bring on the Christmas-in-July levels of blog post untimeliness! Honestly, I feel like Christmas-in-July is a legit thing on QVC. Update, I just checked. Not only is Christmas in July a thing, but QVC has a registered trademark on “Christmas in July®” – if that’s not permission to publish your posts whenever you want without regard to timeliness/seasonality, I don’t know what it.

        Not sure if you’re one of our retailers, but good news: our 2022 holiday items are twig-free!!

        I’m so proud of you for cleaning your physical glasses!! Now, on to the metaphorical one….😉

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I find sometimes that the best thing for me is to bang something out at 1 o’clock in the morning and hit “publish” without agonizing over it. Those are always the most popular, maybe because they’re more spontaneous rants that people can join in on.

          Liked by 1 person

      1. Reddit was hysterically funny for awhile. Now I’m seeing that everyone is basically depressed and suicidal. They may be “woke” but they’ve given up. I get it, but I don’t need to read about it everyday. I’d rather read about people who are at least TRYING.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Agreed. They’re not “woker” than anyone else, they just have a platform where they all gather to share. commiserate an form their own confirmation bubble. Like I said earlier, it’s mainly pee-pee poo poo genitalia jokes which have a short life span.

            Liked by 1 person

  14. I was an extreme extrovert in my youth, but now, there’s no reason for me to go outside because I’ve “been there, done that,” and as only Hype would understand–no one is interested in my DNA anymore–so why leave the house? I do go to work–and I consider myself lucky to have a simple, easy job which forces me to interact with people and bring home some pocket change. If I actually stayed home all day and did not go out, I’d be climbing the walls within a week.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Hi! I became increasingly agoraphobic during the pandemic. Ever since I started sheltering two+ years ago, it has been really difficult to stop. Social environments send me into sensory overload, so it was a relief to not feel expected to participate. I don’t have your two issues with WP, but I have other grievances, as you know. I deactivated Facebook in 2017. Don’t miss it. Feel much better without it. TikTok, on the other hand, is very addictive. Always good to read your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Three months of lockdown was pure heaven for me. I feel guilty because I know it was so hard for other people, but simply being able to be home and go outside, without the stress of work and the sensory overload I experience as well, was a mental “detox” I desperately needed, and definitely a relief for me too.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I know this has been a while now, but I thought I’d drop by and just tell you I relate about fearing (or is it dreading?) anything to do with people. It’s not to say I haven’t ‘trained’ that part of my life, being in the service industry for six years, and education for a couple more, but it’s just not my thing, you know? Square peg in a round hole and all that jazz. So yeah, wherever you are in your journey, I hope you find the strength to accept your current path and keep stepping on until you find the right way for you. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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