If I never hear the words “social distancing” again…..

~ Hetty Eliot

…..I will be just fine.

UPDATE: March 24, 2022. Two years. Still hearing it. Still hating it. Although less and less thank God. Dunno why I always remember the date of this post. I am sick right now. Would be funny if I had covid again exactly a year later. Am I fine? Probably not. Unless you mean “fine” in the obnoxious way women use it. “How are you?” “Fine.”

UPDATE: March 24, 2021: Happy One Year Anniversary

I originally published this on March 24, 2020.

No end of those two words in sight.

I’m not exactly fine right now because I literally have covid as we speak. Oh well.

But as true today as it was a year ago, if I never hear the words “social distancing” again, I will be just fine.

UPDATE: January 14, 2021: Happy New Year.

UPDATE: November 18, 2020 and still going strong.

UPDATE: September 9, 2020 and no sign of its letting up.

UPDATE: I published this on March 24, 2020. It is now July 5, 2020. And they’re still saying it. And I am still not fine.

54 thoughts on “If I never hear the words “social distancing” again…..”

  1. I agree. No one pays attention to it. Thereโ€™s a blog post in some of my SD experiences.

    Actually, I literally send people fines (to be paid to their favorite charities, obviously) for basically using like the essentially dead air throwaway adverbs that seriously disrupt an otherwise absolutely totally clear point.

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    1. Oh it’s not so much that they ignore it, I just hate listening to it over and over. Especially when someone says “*practice* social distancing.” Or “masking.” I just hate it as a verb. (And as a gerund, if I want to be real obnoxious). I dunno. These words just grate.

      Every time you besmirch adverbs, I perversely want to use them more.

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      1. They serve a literary stylistic purpose. The first page of “Little Women” would have gone on a week without them and we still wouldn’t know who they were. Aside from Hammett and Chandler the first half of the 20th Century would be (exceedingly) dull. Faulkner et al. When unnecessary they’re a blight on cohesion and an affectation that says “I’m basically too busy being essentially similar and literally not paying attention.” You went to college. Where’s your Lanham?

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        1. I think it’s a time period thing too ๐Ÿค”. I don’t notice them at all in a classic but in a contemporary novel they can reach high levels of cringe. They seem…. lazy.

          I know you’re not implying Faulkner is boring, right? ๐Ÿ˜ 

          Sometimes I think Hemingway is so idolized by aspiring writers because the literary language skills of writers like Faulkner or others is so intimidating that let’s not try and humiliate ourselves. (Nabokov? Ouch). Obviously (heh heh) it’s all a matter of opinion and what appeals most to our imaginations.

          Anyways…. I have not forgotten our friend Lanham. As messy as whatever I put here is, think of the stuff that didn’t make it.

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          1. Yeah that stuff. I have a small collection of early Faulkner, early Steinbeck, Hemingway before he was a cult hero and the Hammett magazine stuff. Imoften think Hammett was who Hemingway wanted to be when he grew up. True enough about the Big H but he knew what didn’t need to be there. Faulkner was a story teller, and there’s what many writers don’t get, adverbs or no. If you (literal use) can write “Mosquitos” I’ll read your adverbs, you know? Or “Hills Like White Elephants” I’ll sit your bar.

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              1. I have all of that. I like to see where it came from. Not a lot of ground broken there, though, even by the Nobel winners. Brautigan, Vonnegut, Angelou, David Foster Wallace, Kingston, Updike, your buddy Nabokov – those are the Monets and Beethovens of the 20th Century. And none of them except maybe Wallace could carry Virginia Woolfโ€™s notebook.
                But what do I know? I write escapist fairy tales.

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  2. Whoa, a throwback! I believe I hadn’t known you back then, since I only started getting serious around June. But it’s interesting how time flies. Scary too. This is a great reminder that I should always learn to make the best out of my day, because life as I know it could be VERY different at the drop of a hat.

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  3. I am really responding to your conversation with Phil. So I forget, do you have a degree in English? You know so much about English. I feel quite dense as I feel quite clueless. And you see super well read.

    I believe in SD and Masks. I am fed up of it all as well. I don’t really like to discuss covid or the anniversary so much. Because I feel our government messed up so badly. And I know people won’t agree with me. But there are countries in the aspac area of the world that did it so well.

    You take care of yourself and rest. And get better. And ensure you SD and mask etc. Take care.

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  4. I’m with you .. I hate the words social distancing. I miss hugging my family and friends.

    I’m sorry you have covid, the unknown factors left behind are terrifying. I hope you keep a journal so you can keep track of all your symptoms for future reference.

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      1. March 24, 2022 update comment: Yeah, I still hate the COVID vocabulary of social distancing, masking, etc. Can’t believe it’s been two years of this. I’m sorry that you are sick and also that you’re that fake conversation “fine” which really kind of sucks. Feel better and I hope things improve and that you’re actually fine.โค๏ธ

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        1. I talked to a guy from the post office about their little white Jeeps, and their safety record. He said, “Oh, yeah, well, we have our ‘rollaways.’ ” I said, what? He said, you know, when you leave the Jeep and forget to pull the emergency brake. I thought, Dude, you have a problem and should have known it the day everyone started using the term, “rollaways.”
          It’s dismaying when something unpleasant becomes so common, so ordinary, (i.e. “normal”) that we invent cute little phrases for it. Like “false narrative,” or “false equivalence.” I’m sorry things got so where we needed to have those words used to much. So, yeah, same with the Covid terminology.

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          1. LOL that’s such a good point! That they’re common enough to have a cute little name. There’s probably a lot of examples of that. Thanks for the laugh. At least, I guess I’ll be laughing as long as I’m not in the trajectory of a rollaway postal truck…

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        2. Yes I can’t believe it’s been two years. Two weeks to flatten the curve y’all. Funny you never hear THAT term anymore. I wonder why. Thanks for your good wishes. I’m always sick though for some odd reason. Think it’s an allergy.

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  7. Hi Hetty, Gosh time has flown by. Ummm – I don’t know what I think about the whole SD thing. I still wear a mask in shops, but otherwise, I am not. Sometimes, I feel should or shouldn’t I. I still use hand sanitiser.

    I hope you are well and it is not the ‘…’ again.

    Take care

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    1. I gave up on the mask shortly before they lifted the mandate. I had a number of colds over the last couple of years that weren’t covid, so I don’t think it did all that much for me. But I was always pretty sloppy wearing it. I think if you were the right type and wear it properly, it helps. Sanitizing is always a good idea. Think of all the nasty people who don’t wash their hands in the bathroom and then touch the shopping cart or door handle before you. ๐Ÿคข

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    1. It IS getting meta, isn’t it? It’s funny to see our old comments in someone’s re-posts. It can be embarrassing when we write a brand new comment not realizing we already wrote one.

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  9. Lol this is funny.

    But it’s heartbreaking when someone replies ‘fine’ and you want to know.

    Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing Social distancing ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ˜ท

    Our grandkids will use phrases like “put a mask on it” in place of “put a sock in it”.

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      1. Hahaha. I like your sense of humour ๐Ÿ˜‚. Toilet humour has never been more in vogue!

        They’ll joke that we’re still prepping for the millennium bug but little will they knowโ€ฆthat’s our retirement fund!

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  10. Iโ€™m canโ€™t wait for the Book of Covidicus to be over. It is getting wearisome, even for an introvert that does not want to be hugged, like me. Hope you are fully recovered now.

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