“Who the Hell Knows?” turns 2

~ Hetty Eliot

Yes, friends, on this very day the micropimple blog known as “Who the Hell Knows?” turns two years old.

I try to avoid looking at my actual blog as much as possible so I’m not actually certain whether the title has a “?” or not at the end. Let me know. (Apparently it does have a question mark. I had to look this up myself because no one bothered to read this.)

A blog might not seem like very much to you, but it means a lot to me. I have never had the money or chance to travel, but thanks to WordPress, I have communicated with people all over the world. All you need for such a blessing is a website and an Internet connection. Despite the horrific insanity of the world (the end of which I am eagerly awaiting), I am grateful to live in a time when this is type of communication is possible.

I remember the night, long after everyone else went to bed, when I said “F it” and published my first post. I’ve shared many struggles with you guys through my early struggles with health anxiety hysteria, epilepsy, writer’s block, and all the craziness of my job, not the least of which is caused by my boss.

Who, today incidentally, when we were having cake with a few employees to celebrate someone’s birthday, had everyone go around the room to guess my age.

It wasn’t even MY birthday.

(My birthday is next week.)

Lately I wonder about the wisdom of airing so much dirty laundry to the world. I have a terrible tendency to overshare with people, especially online. I’m not sure where that comes from. I’m like this in relationships too. Jealous and overbearing. I abhor any distance between me and someone else. Except for stuff I want to keep to myself, of course, such as television shows I secretly watch. Sometimes this blog thing feels like a double life and I wonder about the wisdom of that, too.

I have found that fiction is a wonderful outlet for oversharing without really sharing anything. The key is to extract the ugly, embarrassing truth from something real, and then just make something up that expresses it. Those who know, will know. Those who don’t will find something else in the story to amuse themselves with. I have related some of the deepest things about myself not in straightforward blog posts, but in stories.

It is so very gratifying when someone understands. The particular real-life details don’t matter–what matters is the understanding of the truth or the experience. Souls speak their own language to each other.

You who are privy to my solipsism might be surprised how salutary blogging has been for my mental state. You can’t even fathom the content of all the drafts and documents on my computer that have not been published. Some of them linger perilously close in the “drafts” section of posts on WordPress. One slip of the mouse or finger, and they could become public…. Oh, you don’t know how fortunate you are. Feedback from actual human beings has done me wonders.

I probably sound fake and repetitive in my comment section when I say “thank you” but I really do believe that the words “thank you” are the two most important words in the English language. Everything boils down to gratitude. Gratitude can change your life. I can attest to this.

So with that I will say, thank you for your digital friendship.

54 thoughts on ““Who the Hell Knows?” turns 2”

  2. Hey Hetty, I love reading your blog. I feel very connected to your struggles, probably cos I have my own s*it going on. I find blogging very therapeutic, especially when I’m venting and no one realises. I, for one, look out for your posts as I consider you a friend, and that is probably oversharing 🙂

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    1. I feel the same way, Deb. I’m happy you relate. I too feel great relief in venting. Some people don’t understand the joys of venting until they try it. Feel free to overshare any time.

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  3. Happy second blog anniversary- well done.

    Yes the age we live in, to be able to communicate with others, from others all over the world, to see their part of the world through their eyes is just the best thing. As well as all the connections and friendships we make on wordpress.com: there is no other blogging platform that has this community.

    It is good know blogging helps you.

    I do feel it is another part of my life too. A very enjoyable part.

    I enjoy all that you post. I alot of bloggers vent. I like when you make fiction out of your reality, also that helps you get closer to your writing dream.

    Enjoy your blogging birthday. Happy birthday in advance for next week.

    Wishing you a success 3rd year of blogging. And a very Happy content birthday next week.

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  5. Congrats on the 2 year milestone. I hope you keep going. Thank you for your interesting blog! Your posts are rather dense, so when I see a new one, I often “save it for later.” I actually have opinions about your life and sometimes want to shout out advice. (Like yelling at the screen at the movies.) (Please get a new job.) Please take that as a compliment.

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    1. Hi Roy. If you want to shout advice, don’t be shy. You wouldn’t believe the things people feel perfectly comfortable saying to me in real life, so I can take it. I’ve got to stop by and visit the ol’ blog-o-ramah.

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  6. this blog thing feels like a double life …it is indeed a double life…and yes, you are sharing but not sharing…you don’t have to see us the next day and talk about the experience or how you feel. The secret life Walter Mitty, it is. And yes, I just put up a new blog which I’ll admit to you was influenced by my year sabbatical hangin’ out on Reddit…lol!

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      1. Y’all need to get a life. Lives? Whatever. I worked for a guy who had zero patience with talky bullshit. He had a saying for the internet, and for that matter any non-productive loop de loop smoke and mirrors meetings and reports, that George needs to hear more than you, but it follows in that whole forum thing. The man had a workroom off the side of his office where he resurrected old high end tube audiophile products he found at some huge flea market in Florida. He’d open the door to that workshop after somebody’d been running their shit instead of doing something and urge them to look inside. He’d take that moment to say, “If you’re gonna masturbate, make a fuckin’ mess.”

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              1. I’ve considered and what’s the point? I can’t dumb down enough to play the WordPress game, can’t give a shit any longer on the horse to water euphemism, can’t fawn over sophomoric shit. You and Galby are the only people I follow who can write in a logical line. There’s more. I could do an “I’m Offended” series.

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                  1. Edit what’s in the can, buff it till it shines. You have the education and the imagination to do whatever you want and rock it but suffer from the same inability as others to simply let. Fucking. Go. We don’t control this. We think we do, but we don’t. Our job is to keep the story on track and out of the weeds and let it go. What should Jim or Bob do next is really out of our control. You have all the components, so my advice to you is quit trying to write, let it rip. So what if it feels like you’re wearing mismatched socks and everybody knows and oh my God I’ll make a fool of myself. Because there are people we know who make fools of themselves (technically) every time they publish and the masses fawn. Don’t give the good shit away (WordPress) and get out of the muse’s way.

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                    1. I’ll take your word for it and won’t argue. I hope you take your own advice; if you don’t wish to post (which I can understand), at least “polish the turds” as they say. You said somewhere you haven’t felt like it–but don’t get rusty.

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                    2. Not on WP doesn’t mean not at all. Plus, I finally broke down and bought a new iPad so I’ve been kick starting my brain with new electronic music methodology and all the peripheral BS that involves. When the gazindas revolt with ground loops and noise.

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  7. Happy blogiversary! Blogging is such a good way to put stuff out there that would otherwise be stuck festering inside. And it’s nice to be able to get outside feedback from people who aren’t all tangled up in one’s own IRL world.

    Your boss is such an asshat. I hope she’ll be able to rein in the asshattedness on your birthday.

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    1. Thanks, Ashley. Yes, disinterested feedback is very helpful.

      I was going to say my boss is a national treasure, but instead, I’m going to say a North American treasure so that she belongs to you too.

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  8. You nailed fiction. Fiction is more than real life. Real life is cloistered and private. Fiction is humanity exposed. And I second (third) the thought that our lives here blogging exist as a parallel world, often more honest than our work-a-day lives. Happy to see your posts show up in my email.

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  9. Happy Blog Birthday!! 🥳🎉 And happy almost birthday to you!! 🎂🎉

    I enjoy reading your blog immensely. From fiction to work horror stories to life stuff to even the poetry you don’t want us to comment on – I love your blog. I feel fortunate to have ‘met’ you.

    I do hate your boss though. People who ask me my age in offline life do not receive polite or truthful responses. Even though yes I have outright admitted my age in blogland.

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  10. Congratulations on the milestone! I am new to your blog so I have only gotten a small glimpse at what it entails but I’ve been enjoying it thus far and look forward to future posts. And maybe if I ever get time, popping back to catch up on some older posts too.

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  11. I totally hear you – it is indeed is deeply gratifying to be understood, and be recieved for our most authentic expressions. I too feel the gravity of the words Thank You, I hav always meant them to the depth and beyond. Congratulations on reaching 2 years and wishing you contiued joys of being here.

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  12. You’ve gathered quite the cluster of admirants to your blog. Everyone seems to love you to bits. Can the secret be as simple as sharing hardships and difficult moments? Or is it more like the hardship moments create a form, a kind of new REALITY for the onlooker?

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    1. That’s very kind of you. I think it’s a case of both–simple human sharing, yet at the same time, the selective sharing does create another sort of reality–I won’t say fictional, because I tell the truth (even in fiction), but there is a sort of manufactured quality. It’s impossible not to–we have to pick and choose even just for practical reasons. The question then becomes, is what we’re serving up genuine? And if the answer’s yes, as in my case I hope I live up to it, we return whence we came, a simple act of sharing.

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      1. *musing* Kind … I don’t often get called kind. As for sharing, that reminds me of the play fair, please share refrain we get taught when we’re wee ones. I tend to just take what I want.

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  13. Oh wow! Happy second year, and also happy early birthday in advance! I never knew you used fiction to express your life more than your non-fiction, and you’ve now given me more reason to read your work closely, lol.

    I have to admit, I’ve never really tried expressing my real-life challenges through fiction. Maybe I should give it a go. Anyway, wishing you many more years to come!

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  15. Have my first evening off in idk how long and wanted to get caught up on some blog reading lol – happy late 2yr anniversary!!! That’s awesome, You really are a great writer, you’re my fav go-to when I get on here to actually read instead of write lol.

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