Let’s keep it affable, folks.

~ Hetty Eliot

From the spam files…

I must say, as a lot as I enjoyed reading what you had to say, I couldnt help but lose interest after a while. Its as if you had a wonderful grasp on the subject matter, but you forgot to include your readers. Perhaps you should think about this from far more than one angle. Or maybe you shouldnt generalise so considerably. Its better if you think about what others may have to say instead of just going for a gut reaction to the subject. Think about adjusting your own believed process and giving others who may read this the benefit of the doubt.

Ouch.

What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of
precious familiarity concerning unpredicted feelings.

Pure poetry.

XXXXX is an online video network connecting men and women from all once again the clique by virtue of high-speed spend video chat with extensive audio support.

When you principal turn up at our situate, you will simply be granted boarder privileges. This means that every heyday you submit engage a talk compartment, you resolution be given a unspecified pet name, such as “Guest9505”.

Unfortunately, guests are not allowed to small talk, so the valid quirk to do would be to diary benefit of free. All you demand to do is choose a username and open sesame and log your email address for the sake verification. Your username purposefulness develop your nickname. After you from logged in, you can shift it to any other name. This disposition be your laid-back lifetime membership at XXXXX, implication that you can come back any dilly-dally you want.

On one occasion you login to your let off account, you will hold access to a difference of features. We barely query you to till, so we can keep a affable community.

Inappropriate Russian website, speaks for itself.

We would like to thank you just as before for the stunning ideas you offered Jesse when preparing her own post-graduate research and, most importantly, regarding providing every one of the ideas in one blog post. In case we had been aware of your web page a year ago, we might have been saved the unwanted measures we were implementing. Thank you very much.

Well, all I can say is that I hope Jesse did well.

If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you

Oddly selfless. Shilling for Best Buy and not their own sketchy website.

Next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t fail me as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, nonetheless I genuinely believed you’d have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of moaning about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.

I am really torn as to whether this is a real comment. It came from an inappropriate spam website, but the comment is so… true… that I can’t decide.

44 thoughts on “Let’s keep it affable, folks.”

  1. I can’t compete with any of that and also, I’m tired. I’m deeply into crypto at the moment. It is sort of like writing a vampire book, which is what evidentially, I’m doing. Duke

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  2. That made me laugh, you could almost make a novel out of it. Anyway, a bit of shameless self promotion with a suggestion on the side. Tomorrow begins Sunday Serial – the first instalment of a short story I wrote. Feel free to come over and read or join in with your own draft of a short story. I thought we could all brain storm to the finish line ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Wow people get way too worked up with critiques, but I love how you respond. I try to remember to be cool when it inevitably happens to me, but it will all ride on what mood I’m in when it does. I’ll either laugh, cry, or read every word they’ve ever written so I can find my own critics, it’s really luck of the draw. That being said, screw those haters. They were all muggles anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Howdy. This is stuff I find in my spam comments. I don’t think they’re real people. They come from inappropriate websites or sites selling prescriptions. Someone told me once it might come from bots that pick up text off the internet. Or they’re terrible translations (I like “open sesame” for password). The only one I’m not sure about is the last one because it rings true but comes from a bad website.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  4. Love these! I particularly like the bit about “any dilly-dally you want.” I wonder what translation tool those people are using. I don’t imagine Google Translate is spitting out “open sesame.”

    One of my spammy frequent flyers talks about the amazing “Doctor” so-and-so who’s come up with a miraculous cure for herpes, and I should get in touch with him on Whatsapp.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      1. I wonder what the universal language will be? Some fusion of these for every language until it becomes babel or some hodge podge. Spanglish is like that. Hey, there’s a new word for that bot shit. SPAMGLISH!

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

  8. Ha! This is fascinating. The robot spam stuff is just vaguely interesting, like when you see bird poop on the roof of your car that looks kind of like Abraham Lincoln’s profile, but the “real” ones, if they are, might deserve some thought. But only for a few seconds.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Actually, that “Open sesame” Thing is certainly a bot. You will notice how disjointed everything is, no emotion, no consideration, nothing. These are just random selections of words picked because they make sense somewhere statistically.

    Basically, these machines are a long, long way away from emulating humans.

    This doesn’t mean that they don’t have their place. Give a bot an automated task (Which is more useful than just spamming a blog,) And watch how easily it does all the boring work without complain, and gives the same result always. You can’t expect that from a human.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Well, more like people behind these bots.

        I mean there are experiments where some scientists managed to fool humans, making them feel as if they were talking to a real living person. But most of the internet bots are not that sophisticated.

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

  12. I don’t know, but the first one looks perfectly legit, something that I’d totally pass off as a real comment. Like you said in the last comment, sometimes it’s the account itself that clues us in, because if this is AI, then dang they’re getting better, especially at targeting my weak points, lol.

    You sure do get the more sophisticated spam!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  13. I love reading my spam folder. I felt special when I was getting lots of Russian prostitute propositions, but then came the enlarge your special purpose and viagra sales from sketchy places and I thought that was terrifying when I put it all together. Isn’t it a bit strange that a bot can cause us to question ourselves?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. I guess all those little minions of viral crime do actually stumble upon our blogs and everybody else’s blog too. I’m always hoping they stumble upon the blogosphere immune system and get clobbered. WP needs to create a counseling group to help all of us spam traumatized bloggers.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  14. You could make an episodic web series where in each episode, the main character (who has an overarching plot of some kind) has an encounter where the exact copy of one of your spam emails is incorporated, verbatim. Let the spam determine the adventures of your main character. I would read that. Oh yes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. That might have been funny back then–but the spam I’ve been bombarded with lately is NOT funny at all! It’s terrible! I don’t want them determining my character’s adventures! I’d be arrested!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment