Ch 10. High School Ritual: I’ll Get You, My Pretty, and Your Little Mouse, Too (SepSceneWriMo)

Four high school students encounter an evil spirit. Thoroughly cliched and hopelessly derivative.


On Monday night, Natalie sat cross-legged on her bedroom floor, holding Mr. Squeaks against her cheek. She stroked his nose and whiskers and kissed his head. Mr. Squeaks was the only thing that made her happy. She kissed him once more, placed him in his cage, and handed him one last treat for the night.

She pulled the cage door down and added the little padlock, which she tugged several times to be certain it was secure.

She was feeling so much better tonight. She had gotten through the day without any catastrophe to remind her of what happened on Friday. Already the pain was subsiding. She never had much to lose as far as Chad was concerned, anyway. She flipped over and pulled her blanket over her head. She still wanted Chad. She had just started to doze off when the smell of smoke woke her up.

She leaned up on her elbow—it wasn’t smoke like a house burning, it was more like incense—but who was burning incense? She threw back the cover and sat up, but before she could get out of bed, the smoke overwhelmed her nostrils and she fell back, fast asleep.

Natalie found herself wandering down a long, smooth corridor. There were no turns or doorways; it was utterly smooth. Through the smoky haze, she heard plaintive murmurings in the distance.

She sped up to find out who needed help and suddenly Vanessa appeared in the haze.

“Hi Natalie.”

Natalie stopped short. This must be a nightmare. Not only was she lost in a scary alternate dimension, but now Chad’s girlfriend was there, in a dress fit for the nightclub. She looked down at herself and she was still wearing her flannel Mickey Mouse pajamas with the bleach stains. Yup, this was a nightmare.

Embarrassed, she began, “I’m sorry, where are we…?”

“Look behind you,” Vanessa snickered, her red lips twisting around in her perpetual mobile smirk.

Natalie turned. And there was Mr. Squeaks, floating mid-air.

“Mr. Squeaks!” she screamed and ran to catch him.

He floated around her to Vanessa who held out her hand and plucked him out of the air by his scruff. She dangled him in front of her and his little legs swung and kicked.

Natalie lunged towards them. “You horrible bitch! Give me back Mr. Squeaks!”

Vanessa waggled her fingers and snapped them. Everything went poof.

Natalie turned on the lamp and flew out of bed to Mr. Squeaks’ cage.

It was empty.

She unlocked the cage and tore the roof off his plastic house, frantically rummaged through all the woodchips, looked under her bed. “Oh God! He’s gone! Mr. Squeaks is gone!” She ran to her parents’ bedroom and screamed again, “Mr. Squeaks is gone!”

16 thoughts on “Ch 10. High School Ritual: I’ll Get You, My Pretty, and Your Little Mouse, Too (SepSceneWriMo)

  1. “Not only was she lost in a scary alternate dimension, but now Chad’s girlfriend was there, in a dress fit for the nightclub. She looked down at herself and she was still wearing her flannel Mickey Mouse pajamas with the bleach stains. Yup, this was a nightmare.”

    I love that paragraph. It is so wonderfully in character. But I am very concerned about Mr. Squeaks!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s