Training the mediocre ones.

~ Hetty Eliot

From the spam files…

I’ve received a number of spam messages from the same bot/person/site lately, and as a special treat, I thought I’d share some with you.

“Thank you a lot for sharing this with all people you actually recognise what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally seek advice from my web site =). We can have a hyperlink alternate agreement between us!”

This comment was ironically made on a post about… spam. But I’m not sure which one of us will benefit the most from the hyperlink agreement.

“I precisely needed to thank you so much once again. I do not know the things that I could possibly have taken care of without these concepts documented by you over such a topic. It was actually a real distressing dilemma in my position, nevertheless viewing this specialised technique you processed the issue took me to cry over contentment. I am grateful for your information and thus believe you recognize what a powerful job you’re getting into training the mediocre ones through your website. Most likely you’ve never come across all of us.”

This one touched me, to know I’m making an impact on the mediocre ones. I hope his tears brought catharsis.

This story warmed the cockles of my heart:

“Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!”

Anyone else get them some good spam lately?

Update. Today, I received a spam on this very post:

“The modern world is full of forced advertising. There’s only so much time per eyeball to get your message across that you have to use a little guile and charm. People forgive much if you’re a skilled advertiser, but generally the profession of advertising is run by amateurs. They have no social POWER *clenched fist* Before you can get others to believe in you, you must first believe in yourself“

I mean, you’ve got to admit, there is a little charm here.

33 thoughts on “Training the mediocre ones.”

      1. Just kidding. But the issue took me to cry over contentment.
        But seriously, I feel sorry for anyone who has to think with that language. It would be like trying to play Beethoven’s Ninth with an ET xylophone and a jar of marbles.

        Liked by 3 people

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  6. I have thinned my WordPress to a minimum, still get friend farmers but not much spam. However the please to be review our sticky free crock pot/russian brides/most honnerible (no shit) safe valve for grill…

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I’m tired of the friend farmers. If I visit someone’s blog and it’s in an unknown tongue, or they’ve posted five times already that day, I ignore them or delete them, depending on my mood.

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. A pox on your catapax. A fox in your fatafax. A box for your boxabox, wink-wink.

    TICKETS. TICKETS. TICKETS. Get your FREE TICKETS to see the grandest of the grand. The mightiest of the mighty. The most dazzling of the dazzlest. The… TICKETS, TICKETS, TICKETS just

    CLICK…

    RIGHT…

    HERE…

    [ ooey-gooey-nougat-center ]

    Liked by 2 people

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  8. An entertaining post, Hetty. It looks like the typography designs on packaging here, which is only there to decorate the paper or fill up white space. I would love to write some of them out in my unreadable curlicues. I assume that you already know that this was a bot built to scrape the web for phrases, cobble them together and add them to your post? Until recently, I thought the posts were bad translations.

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    1. Ah very interesting. I had thought they were bad translations of random crap. I shudder to think where they’ve scraped some of those phrases from. They’re brilliant though. There are hidden gems of wisdom to be found if you look hard enough. I simply can’t get enough of my own spam.

      Liked by 1 person

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