From the spam files…
I’ve received a number of spam messages from the same bot/person/site lately, and as a special treat, I thought I’d share some with you.
“Thank you a lot for sharing this with all people you actually recognise what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally seek advice from my web site =). We can have a hyperlink alternate agreement between us!”
This comment was ironically made on a post about… spam. But I’m not sure which one of us will benefit the most from the hyperlink agreement.
“I precisely needed to thank you so much once again. I do not know the things that I could possibly have taken care of without these concepts documented by you over such a topic. It was actually a real distressing dilemma in my position, nevertheless viewing this specialised technique you processed the issue took me to cry over contentment. I am grateful for your information and thus believe you recognize what a powerful job you’re getting into training the mediocre ones through your website. Most likely you’ve never come across all of us.”
This one touched me, to know I’m making an impact on the mediocre ones. I hope his tears brought catharsis.
This story warmed the cockles of my heart:
“Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!”
Anyone else get them some good spam lately?
Update. Today, I received a spam on this very post:
“The modern world is full of forced advertising. There’s only so much time per eyeball to get your message across that you have to use a little guile and charm. People forgive much if you’re a skilled advertiser, but generally the profession of advertising is run by amateurs. They have no social POWER *clenched fist* Before you can get others to believe in you, you must first believe in yourself“
I mean, you’ve got to admit, there is a little charm here.
The third story is so random! I kinda love it.
My spammers want to sell me vapes, CBD, and herbs to cure herpes.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I did love the randomness of it, especially since they were all from the same place.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha!! Some real crazy people in there. I think the first two are bots but the last one is just a nutter. Nevertheless they had a hilarious story!
I barely get any spam at all, and nothing like this. What am I doing wrong!?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wait…does that mean I’M the crazy one??
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, they were all the same person! Maybe they really did wanna just tell someone the story so they took a brief break from spamming for a moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣🤣🤣. Oh my god, hilarious
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a decidedly mediocre reader, I want to say that, yes, I feel it. The impact of your website is slowly and increasingly making my ear hurt.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Jeez, but did you at least shed a few tears from the pain?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just kidding. But the issue took me to cry over contentment.
But seriously, I feel sorry for anyone who has to think with that language. It would be like trying to play Beethoven’s Ninth with an ET xylophone and a jar of marbles.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hahahaha!!! Well put!
LikeLiked by 1 person
But maybe they’re actually on a whole different plane of existence. I do love your imagery here.
LikeLike
I seem to get a lot of R-rated spam, which is weird for a PG-rated blog.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m lucky, I rarely get that stuff. And it’s usually not the comment itself, it’s the site address it’s coming from..
LikeLiked by 1 person
How come you get all the good spam? All mine are are keywords on sex and money. I want to inspire them mediocre ones too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! I just get people who want to sell me vapes, CBD, and special herbs that cure herpes. The herpes herbs one is somewhat entertaining. Nobody wants to send me a hyperlink agreement or tell me a story about their children.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I do get excellent spam. I know they’re selling crap judging by the web address but I love the messages.
LikeLike
I have thinned my WordPress to a minimum, still get friend farmers but not much spam. However the please to be review our sticky free crock pot/russian brides/most honnerible (no shit) safe valve for grill…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m tired of the friend farmers. If I visit someone’s blog and it’s in an unknown tongue, or they’ve posted five times already that day, I ignore them or delete them, depending on my mood.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know a “writer” who posts circle jerk marketing hype so often she’s like a rash.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A pox on your catapax. A fox in your fatafax. A box for your boxabox, wink-wink.
TICKETS. TICKETS. TICKETS. Get your FREE TICKETS to see the grandest of the grand. The mightiest of the mighty. The most dazzling of the dazzlest. The… TICKETS, TICKETS, TICKETS just
CLICK…
RIGHT…
HERE…
[ ooey-gooey-nougat-center ]
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think you’d make a fine spammer.
LikeLike
An entertaining post, Hetty. It looks like the typography designs on packaging here, which is only there to decorate the paper or fill up white space. I would love to write some of them out in my unreadable curlicues. I assume that you already know that this was a bot built to scrape the web for phrases, cobble them together and add them to your post? Until recently, I thought the posts were bad translations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah very interesting. I had thought they were bad translations of random crap. I shudder to think where they’ve scraped some of those phrases from. They’re brilliant though. There are hidden gems of wisdom to be found if you look hard enough. I simply can’t get enough of my own spam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re inspiring bots all over the web. ❤️🔥
LikeLiked by 1 person
The last one is pretty funny, don’t you think? And it was on this post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved it. Such poetry. 🤌🏽🤌🏽
LikeLiked by 1 person
I forget to go to Spam and Delete, then I end up having to delete months of spam. Some of the spam is seriously funny – thank God for WP.COM spam filters.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You could be missing some good stuff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have to have a look what’s on offer for my spam folder. Haven’t had a look recently. I doubt though I have an impact on the mediocre ones 🤣 you are a blessed person 🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
I dunno, I think you could train ’em!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks 😍
LikeLiked by 1 person